BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES IN EDUCATIONAL ENVIRONMENT Inevitably in our life we meet difficult personalities, and in order to better understand and face them, we are trained and take benefit from Psychology course. We specified these personality types to achieve a well-defined purpose referring to the way of progress and improvement of the actions and optimization of the educational phenomena. “The main task of human life is to be born, to become what its potential allows, and the most important product of this effort is his own personality”(Erik Fromm , 1900-1980).
The importance and significance of Psychology Course Psychology Course helps us to discover ourselves and those around us, contributing to an appropriate behavior and changing the mentality. The term, as such, of psychology was introduced by the German scholar Rodolphe Goglenius in the XVI century. Psychology (from Greek: ψυχή Psyché = soul, λόγος logos = science) is the portal for education and training, science which studies human behavior, including such functions and mental processes as: intelligence, memory, perception, and inner and subjective experiences such as feelings, hopes and motivation, processes either consciously or unconsciously. First experimental psychology lab was established by Wilhelm Wundt in 1879 at the University of Leipzig. The statement "psychology is a profession that involves aid" is useful because it covers more than the strict therapy field. This science in educational institutions is settled as advisor to better deal and detects the persons with difficult personalities you will inevitably face in life. To behave properly with difficult personalities, we need to know them. The recommendations drawn from psychotherapists’ experience help you better understand and manage these difficult personalities. We exemplified several types of difficult personalities: anxious; paranoid; histrionic; obsessive; narcissistic; schizoid; depressive; dependent; avoidant.
1. Anxious personality:
Too intense and frequent concerns, reported to the daily risks, often excessive physical tension. Permanent attention to dangers: awareness for all that could take a bad turn, to control even low-risk situations, difficult attention, restlessness, irritability, fatigue inclination.
How to behave with anxious personalities? Recommended: Get inspired them confidence: that they can count on you; help them to socialize; practice a benevolent humor, convince them to treat (F.Lelord, C.andre, 1996, p.31). • How not to behave with anxious personalities? Not recommended: Let yourself to be subjugated by them, to take them by surprise, to share your own worries, avoid embarrassing conversation topics (F.Lelord , C.Andre, 1996, p.31). But anxious colleagues or collaborators prevent and foresee everything, so we can use these qualities.
2. Paranoid personality
Is identified by: a very high self-esteem, rigid thinking, very vain person, is protesting and complaining all the time, distrustful, suspicious, jealous, without empathy, no sense of humor, is cool in emotional relationships with others, is fascinating by norms, rules and laws. • How to behave with paranoid personalities? Recommended: Express clearly and unambiguously your intentions and reasons, without any interpretation, respect scrupulously the conveniences (F.Lelord , C.andre, 1996, p.52);this personalities need assessment, to maintain regular contact, to make reference to laws and regulations in order to improve relationship, to leave them some small victories, but carefully chosen, to look for allies elsewhere, to address polite. We criticize only the behavior and not the person. • How not to behave with paranoid personalities? Not recommended: To renounce to clarify misunderstandings, to attack their opinion, to commit mistakes, to gossip, discuss politics in contradictory, not to offense their self-esteem, not to avoid them, not to have an equivocal manifestation (DSM IV, 2003)
3. Histrionic personality
A histrionic personality is recognized in this word “the actor”. The individual seek the attention of others, does not like situations where he is not the center of general attention, he is assiduously seeking the affection of the own entourage, his outfit will have always something remarkable, he speaks loudly, noisy, theatrical of course, with ample gestures, he is dramatizing the expression of his emotions, which are often changing, the style of his speech is rather emotional, is shifting from laughing to crying because it evokes impressions, is inaccurate and lacking in detail, has a tendency to idealize or, on the contrary, to highly depreciate people around. He is a theatrical person, dramatizes his speech, exaggerates without limits, manifesting excessive emotions at the expense of the information itself, uses physical appearance to manipulate others, is dependent on others. • How to behave with histrionic personalities? Recommended: Let them manifest, setting certain boundaries and encouraging and showing interest when the behavior is normal; expect all sorts of exaggeration and dramatization; occasionally leave them space to action but setting some limits; wait up to switch the status of a hero to the infamous, and vice versa. • How not to behave with histrionic personalities? Not recommended: Have fun on their owns, to be impressed by their attempts of seduction that are often artificial, and to let yourself too much touched.
4. Obsessive Personality
Is obsessed by perfectionism, is overly attentive to respect the details, the rules, reserved in dealing with others, difficult express of positive emotions; often is formally cold, presents timidity, indecision, rigor ; his mind is over conscientious and scrupulous, fails to be operative, fights for his beliefs, is stubborn when gets noticed due to his exaggerated meticulosity; is stable, hates changes, demanding with himself and with others, shy with others, formally impeccable behavior. • How to behave with obsessive personalities? Recommended: Let's show them that you appreciate their sense of order and rigor, to respect their need to anticipate and organize everything; when they pass certain limits bring them precise and motivated criticism, show them that you are predictable and they can rely on you, make them discover the pleasure of relaxation, give them tasks so that their defects to be used as qualities, show them the approval for their orderliness; we let them the pleasure to organize specific events, projects or situations, satisfying thus their need for control; and our criticism to be related to actual not to general behavior and to be very well argued; we explain all the points of a project before taking action and try to be constant in requirements; any change is negatively felt by the obsessional personalities and it will cause them to be more fastidious; to the fastidious individuals we give tasks that require precision, a lot of patience, their methodical style fits perfectly with these scrupulous tasks. (F.Lelord, C.Andre, 1996 , p.107 ) • How not to behave with obsessive personalities? Not recommended: To ironize them due to their anger, to let yourself driven too far in their universe, to overwhelm them with too much affection, gratitude or gifts because they may become angry, to joke on their fixations, especially when we are not in close relationship they will feel wronged, to pressure them in their work, to tell them to hurry without offering a concrete solution to shorten the algorithms of the process.
5. Narcissistic Personality
The individual has the feeling that he is exceptional, above all people, and that he deserves more than others. He is ruled by ambition, resounding success in both professional and personal life. Often he is extremely concerned about his physical appearance and clothing; in relation to the others he expects attention, privileges, but without feeling obliged to reciprocity. When he doesn’t receive the expected privileges he becomes furious. He exploits and manipulates others to achieve his goals and their unfulfillment provokes anger; he proves little empathy with the feelings of others and is not sensitized by others emotions. • How to behave with narcissistic personalities? Recommended: Show your agreement whenever they are sincere, explain to them the reactions of others, respect scrupulously the conveniences, don’t criticize them only when is absolutely necessary and then you have to be extremely precise; criticisms and compliments are made only when are justified; it is criticized only the behavior not the individual. Keep discretion about your own success and privilege; the rule is that we respect what we set out because any change is perceived as a lack of consideration; we establish limits in our relationship, that is what we accept to do and what we not accept. • How not to behave with narcissistic personalities? Not recommended: To stand against systematically; be careful of manipulation attempts; to expect gratitude from narcissistic personalities; to talk about your own successes, taking into account that envy of individuals with narcissistic personality has no borders; to expect reciprocity in relations with these individuals, to expect empathy.
6. Schizoid personality
He prefers solitary activities, is indifferent to the praise or criticism of others, emotionless, detached, indiscernible. • How to behave with narcissistic personalities? Recommended: To respect their need for solitude, to put them in suitable situations that they could understand, to listen their inner world, to appreciate their way of being. • How not to behave with narcissistic personalities? Not recommended: To ask them to manifest strong emotions, to suffocate them with too much conversation, to let themselves to completely isolate.
7. Depressive personality
Pessimism, sad mood, absence of pleasure or joy (ahedonism), low self-esteem. A depressive personality sees only the negative aspect of any situation. • How to behave with depressive personalities? Recommended: Let us draw their attention to the positive side of any situation, compliment them whenever manifest positive thinking, attract them in pleasant and suitable activities, show your consideration in an appropriate manner. Advise them to consult a specialist. • How not to behave with depressive personalities? Not recommended: To tell them to shake-up, to lesson/sermonize them, to be dragged in their slough/depression.
8. Dependent personality
Is characterized by the need to be helped and supported by others: he/she is reserved when is necessary to take own decisions, often let others to take important decisions instead of him/her , prefers to follow others than to initiate some projects , doesn’t like to be alone or to do some things alone, fear of not spoil relations with others . • How to behave with dependent personalities? Recommended: To compliment more the initiatives than victories, to help them to trivialize failures, if they look for your advice, ask them about their point of view before responding. Discuss about your own doubts and weaknesses, not hesitate to ask them for advice and to help you, help them to multiply the activities, make them understand that there are a number of things you can do without them, but that does not mean that you reject them. • How not to behave with depressive personalities? Not recommended: To take decisions instead of them, even they ask you; not running to help them whenever there is an impasse. To criticize their initiatives, even they are failed, to abandon them entirely with the aim “to learn them to carry it well”. Not to allow them to pay the price of their dependency (to offer gifts and to do ,,dirty work ") . Not to let them to ,,invade" you.
9. Avoidant personality
Is characterized by hypersensitivity: criticisms and ironies frighten them, are afraid of ridicule , avoid to enter into relations with others as long as they are not sure for their unconditional willingness, avoids situations where they feel they could be hurt or would feel lonely : new persons, an important post , an intimate relationship, self-depreciation: they have a low self-esteem and often underestimate their capabilities and success. The fear of failure determines them to choose low positions or jobs below their capabilities. • How to behave with avoidant personalities? Recommended: Let's propose them some targets of progressive difficulty, to show that you are interested in their opinion; show them that you accept the contradiction if you want to criticize : start with a more general praise and then bring criticism to a particular behavior; to make them to be assured by constant help and support ; advise them to consult a specialist. • How not to behave with avoidant personalities? Not recommended: To ironize them, to irritate, to comply with all the tasks, to frighten them.
CONCLUSIONS Understanding the difficult personalities contribute to a better collaboration and social networking also in educational environment and in everyday life , so we managed to evolve peacefully to high success. We find in ourselves what others hide and we discover in others what we hide in ourselves.
Translate Camelia Emilia Dujko